It is no secret that my mom Barb Corcoran has been diagnosed with dementia. She has been living with Bob and I for over a year now and we certainly have seen the changes. Mom spends some weekends with her son and daughters and of course they also help out in getting her to appointments when I can't.
I am finding the difficulty that can be very disheartening, a little scary and honestly quite sad. On the other hand my mom's sense of humor is still going strong. I think she lifts me up as much as I attempt to lift her. Though sometimes she can become concerned, troubled or even distressed, she always makes a turn and is able to laugh at herself and even seems to like it when we go along with her humor. Such as the other day when she asked if she had taken her medicines yet. I lifted her hand to show her she was holding them in her hand...we both burst out laughing. That may seem sad but we both agreed, it was pretty funny.
It is also no secret that my mom and I haven't always gotten along or agreed on many points of thought. This has not changed a whole lot, I have to say, but I am learning the wisdom she carries and the story's of the history of our family. When I used to think "Here we go again" When listening to the story of her and grandpa starring at the stars and having deep conversations for the hundredth time. I now go into a phase of trying to listen carefully and remember what she is saying.
Mom's long term memory is functioning quite well. We still depend on her when we have questions about the past. She can remember things from her past without a problem but has a hard time with short term memory and I have noticed it worsening.
Her past has become valuable to me in a way I never thought it would. Her repeated stories sometimes still get on my nerves but now I stop and remember, someday I will hear those stories no more. I listen tentatively now and smile.
My mother is a unique person and all of you out there who know her, know that. Others, when referring to my momma always do so with a smile on their face and speak of fond memories. Most of them call her mom too because that is who she was to them back in the day and many still consider her their mom.
Sometimes I wish that time would stop and mom could stay the same. This world is a much better place with her in it, for sure. I am learning to keep my mouth shut when disagreements come our way and remember to not sweat the small stuff. I used to freak out a little while taking care of Momma. I was terrified of not doing the right thing or making mistakes with her health wise. Now every day is just another day and God has blessed me by giving me a chance to honor her the way she honored me by raising us kids and putting up with our antics but loving us all along.
She now needs someone to remind her to do things but still can do most things herself. As I grow to understand Alzheimer's and how it effects it's victims, I know too that God is in control and with God Everything is possible...
