My Momma the Brave

It is no secret that my mom Barb Corcoran has been diagnosed with dementia. She has been living with Bob and I for over a year now and we certainly have seen the changes. Mom spends some weekends with her son and daughters and of course they also help out in getting her to appointments when I can't.
I am finding the difficulty that can be very disheartening, a little scary and honestly quite sad. On the other hand my mom's sense of humor is still going strong. I think she lifts me up as much as I attempt to lift her. Though sometimes she can become concerned, troubled or even distressed, she always makes a turn and is able to laugh at herself and even seems to like it when we go along with her humor. Such as the other day when she asked if she had taken her medicines yet. I lifted her hand to show her she was holding them in her hand...we both burst out laughing. That may seem sad but we both agreed, it was pretty funny.
It is also no secret that my mom and I haven't always gotten along or agreed on many points of thought. This has not changed a whole lot, I have to say, but I am learning the wisdom she carries and the story's of the history of our family. When I used to think "Here we go again" When listening to the story of her and grandpa starring at the stars and having deep conversations for the hundredth time.  I now go into a phase of trying to listen carefully and remember what she is saying.
Mom's long term memory is functioning quite well. We still depend on her when we have questions about the past. She can remember things from her past without a problem but has a hard time with short term memory and I have noticed it worsening.
Her past has become valuable to me in a way I never thought it would. Her repeated stories sometimes still get on my nerves but now I stop and remember, someday I will hear those stories no more. I listen tentatively now and smile.
My mother is a unique person and all of you out there who know her, know that. Others, when referring to my momma always do so with a smile on their face and speak of fond memories. Most of them call her mom too because that is who she was to them back in the day and many still consider her their mom.
Sometimes I wish that time would stop and mom could stay the same. This world is a much better place with her in it, for sure. I am learning to keep my mouth shut when disagreements come our way and remember to not sweat the small stuff. I used to freak out a little while taking care of Momma. I was terrified of not doing the right thing or making mistakes with her health wise. Now every day is just another day and God has blessed me by giving me a chance to honor her the way she honored me by raising us kids and putting up with our antics but loving us all along.
She now needs someone to remind her to do things but still can do most things herself. As I grow to understand Alzheimer's and how it effects it's victims, I know too that God is in control and with God Everything is possible...

Am I My Own Evil Twin?

My family would tell you that I am unique, and not necessarily in a good way. A little known fact about me is that up until the time of my birth I was supposed to be a twin. The Dr. heard two heartbeats and everything else that points to twins was there. At that time of course there was no ultra sound or gizmo's that could prove the point except for maybe x-rays which even then were known as dangerous.

Can you imagine two of us running around? Yikes!! Anyway, the elevator my mom was on the day I was born fell (which explains some things) and mom was trapped for a while. She got out and went into labor and when she awoke had only one baby. No one seems to know how the mistake of twins was predicted, but only one of us came out. Sounds fishy to me. Sometimes I fantasize about another one of me out there roaming around. It is a little scary even to me and certainly to my brothers and sisters. And who knows what might have happened back in the day? Maybe someone paid someone off because they wanted a child or maybe something happened to the other one of me in the elevator incident and no one wanted to be held liable. The thoughts go on and on...and on.

When I used to live in South Omaha and would go to K-Mart on 50th and L or Hy-Vee on L street people would insist that I was Debbie who was a regular customer. I never did see this Debbie but one time I missed her by only minutes at the Mart (it's kind of like a Clark Kent/Superman thing going on). Clark is never around when Superman is. Maybe I have an alter-ego like Superman and become amnesiac when she appears. They said they had told her about me so I don't know, maybe she was watching for me too. Heck maybe Debbie was really me, the voices in my head took over and I became Debbie. It could happen.  One time at girl scout camp a counselor insisted I was there the session before. I think she was a little perturbed that I was arguing with her.

I think about how much fun it would have been to dress alike and trade places in class like my dad and my uncle did. My grades would probably have been much better and my teachers would have thought more kindly of me.

Maybe, just maybe, I have an Evil Twin wandering around! Or maybe I'm the Evil Twin, that would certainly explain some of the events of rebellion while growing up. 

Anyway, Debbie, if you're out there and you were born on February 3, 1960 at the old St. Joseph Hospital on 10th Street and was adopted, shoot me a message and we'll have coffee sometime, or if we meet on Wednesday at Village Inn we'll get free pie. Oh, by the way, happy belated birthday!!


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God Bless all of you readers with abundant life!!

"He has delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of His Love. In whom we have redemption through His Blood, the forgiveness of sins."
Colossians 1:13&14

What Gets Under Your Skin?

I decided that since I was having a hard time thinking about what to write, I would give ya'll some insight as to what TICKS ME OFF. I'm sure there are more and I am getting better at "cooling down" when I come across any of the following. Let me tell you, that is God! He is so good and reminds me constantly that we are all His creation, we all make mistakes and we all need forgiveness and I know I can tee other people off, soooooo here goes!

Let me know some of the things that bother you.

 

 

What peeves me off?

1. Gaining weight - and yes, I have gained 10 lbs.! I am really PI**ED at myself! I'm thinking it is nerves/mindless eating and has to stop.

2. People showing disrespect to me or anybody else. (I've gotten in trouble a few times when I saw someone treating someone wrong) Kids that disrespect adults!!

3.  Being ignored is a big one. (On the other hand too much attention is embarrassing) .a simple acknowledgement is all I ask.

4.  Public humiliation for me or others. (Again that spells trouble for my tongue)

5.  False accusations

6.  Assumptions as to what I  am thinking.

7.  Being taken advantage of.

8.  The silent treatment - please give me the courtesy of letting me know what I did wrong. Only then can it be corrected. 

9.  Talking bad against family. For some reason I still feel I have to defend them to outsiders. I will be in your face... I think it's a firstborn thing.

10.  People who want to debate issues without little or no information on the subject at hand

11. Promises not kept w/o good reason.

12. People who constantly ask questions during movies or TV shows. (This is one that I have come across fairly recently) I am learning to be patient.

 

I really would like you to share things that bug you too

 

After All This Time, I'm Still Not Done

Well, well, well. Here I still am and there you still are just waiting to hear another one of my fabulous blogs. Man, someone needs a life, lol. You know I'm just kidding. Figured my 55th birthday would be a wonderful day for a long overdue matter of opinion on anything that comes to mind, disguised as a blog.
I haven't blogged  since August of 2013. Is there anybody still out there reading, not that that will stop me?  :-)
Well lets see...I have lost 180 plus from my highest weight and have slowed down considerably in the weight loss of late. My weight loss surgery was September 3rd of 2013.
I still fight the fight of eating right, getting the exercise I need, keeping the attitude and lately I have been once more talking to food. Yep, you heard me talking to food. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Pumpkin Bread "Hey Niecie, over here"
Me: At this point I usually plug my ears and sing lalalalalalalalalalalals.
Pumpkin Bread (louder) "You know I'm your favorite food"
Me: "So, purple is my favorite color but I don't paint myself purple".
PB: "You did once"
Me: "OK, number one, how did you know that? and B that was a long time ago"
PB:  "Never mind how I know. You need me."
Me: "Pumpkin bread(?) I don't need no stinking Pumpkin Bread! Or sometimes it's just  "Nanny, nanny, boo, boo I no longer need you".

Note to self: do not take mom to the grocery store without shadowing her". This is where many of these enemies lay in wait to pounce into moms grocery basket unnoticed and forgotten.

Something like that anyway. However, sometimes the pumpkin bread is the victorious one. But, I am doing better (once I finished off the pumpkin bread) :/  I didn't go through all that pain and discomfort of surgery and recovery for naught.
People who think I took the easy way to weight loss (which I have been told a few times) are oh, so wrong.

I would love to say I've done it on my own but Gods direction and the help of many family, friends and professionals have played important parts in my success.
Two months of pain, vomiting, diarrhea and pain that continues still with certain foods is not the easy way out.

I am in between sizes now. 3X I walk around holding my pants up. 2X keeps me from breathing on a regular bases. I have giant bat wings and my tummy swings a bit which I think is what is keeping me from sizing down. My neck is showing some loose skin but I can walk farther and breath a little better though some things have gotten more complicated health wise. It's all good and I am sure it will get better.

Other interesting things that have happened since August 2013 is, Lindsay married Derek Bazer, Jackie moved out with her friends, no grand kids yet but my mom is now living with us. Corrin and Luke bought a house and Jackie and Doug Mulder are still together.

Hopefully, you will all be caught up shortly.