Soooo, still no menu for me but I went to an introductory class with Evi, this time I was her support. It turned out to be a two hour class that should have been 1 hour tops. It was mostly about the product line but tonight I will be busily looking for substitutions. There are only two mandatory supplements that you have to buy from them...that's cool.
My Doctors and Nurses care. My Counslor Cheryl helped us locate a manual wheel chair for about 1/3 of the price we were looking at - and figure we would have to wait a few months for. My nephew is a personal trainer and he has offered his advice. A friend that works at No Name Nutrition has offered her help. I have a cousin who is a Physical Therapist. Many others have offered to listen, transportation, escapes, the option to go to Sri Lanka for surgery if I need it... "The board is set, the pieces are moving" Gandalf the White. I am so humbled, really, I never knew there were so many people out there wanting to help, I really am amazed. This is way cool and a little hard for me to take in. I am so thankful for the generosity, prayers and the Love of my family & friends. This is being set up for something special down the road...There is a much bigger plan here then a weight loss program. God is amazing and I give Him the Glory for it ALL. I know too that God is going to be blessing you all big time. If any of you want to talk, text or im and if I can be of any help to you, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I am here for you all too. Also, knowing that so may people are behind me keeps me lifted up and encouraged. I have made a promise to myself that I will NOT give up this time.
I am sitting here listening to some Smooth Jazz while I write this....Ahhhhhhhh *sigh*. Gotta love Andre Ward.
I was so angry today, I mean I was angry! Today was probably the most painful day I have had. All of my joints are swollen and my muscles were hurting so much even the softest touch was painful. Everything I had to do was complicated by the pain and the lack of mobility due to the swelling. Trying to straighten out my left hand was even difficult. Not looking for sympathy here but just want you to understand how nasty this all was something just burst in me. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING MISERABLE!!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MY HUSBAND AND KIDS HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ME DYING OR HAVING TO GO TO SOME KIND OF CARE FACILITY!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!! I HATE THAT I AM EXHAUSTED! Uh oh, the jazz stopped helping.
Dr. C., Evi and a few others were right. I have to hate this! I see what food is doing to me. I see how it is affecting my family and friends. The look of helplessness on their faces and even fear as they watch me get worse. Yet, they are loving me anyway...sometimes with tough love but they are loving me. They want me here for them - their kids, their weddings, their proms and their dances. I want to be there when they need me. I want to be able to walk trails when we go camping. I want to go on rides at theme parks with my kids and they want it too. I have no excuses, I have no defense and yup I did this too myself and I am the only one that can undo this for myself. I hate what I have done!!! I despise the
I want to see food as a necessary evil I don't even want to 'enjoy' it any more. I almost feel at this point that food to me is like an abusive relationship. I go to it for comfort,or whatever, and it knocks me down, bruises me, sends me to my wheelchair crying and hating myself for allowing it to treat me this way. Then returning again the next day for more of the same...Man, have I been stupid!!
With all that being said, when you pray for me, please get angry with me. This needs to STOP! I can not allow it to go on any further! Pray for my heart to remain as it is now - with the same attitude. Put on the Holy boxing gloves with me!!! Let's do this!!
I hope it didn't get too weird and I didn't freak out too much for you. :)
"Lord, thank you so much for my family! They are the most wonderful gift I have ever received.I do not know where I would be without them and just seeing their faces every day brings joy to my heart and I can not, not smile. They are wonderful!
Thank you for my friends whom you have chosen to put into my life at this time. Lord I am truly humbled by the concern, prayer and support they have given freely. I see so many ways for me to be a better friend by their example. Lord guard them and keep them strong. Bless and prosper them in body, in mind, and mostly in spirit where the true wealth lies. But Lord meet their physical needs as well. Speak to them all in dreams and visions. Draw them to you for peace, protection and strength. Show them, Jesus, who you are if they do not know already. In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
"The desire of the righteous ends only in good..." Proverbs 11:23
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie Dee
Denice I echo your prayer back to you. It was beautiful. I know what you mean about being angry. It may shock some people, but I think that's what needs to happen for you to be serious and steadfast enough to get through this. I know I have to get the same attitude going along with you.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you as you begin this life changing journey.
Thank you Betsy. My prayers continue for you as well and yes I do believe you have to HATE the sin before you can move on and leave it behind.
ReplyDeleteI guess you can say faith gets you to that point, the waiting and anticipation for the answer. At those times I believe that God is also waiting in anticipation for us to see the answers He has put before us.
Keep me posted as to how you are doing, please! Contact me on facebook if you would like to have my number. Maybe we can talk? Blessings!!
On my original post, I should have wrote:
ReplyDelete"Don't worry, my future blogs won't be quite so long. This is just to explain my situation and give background info. Nope, they will be much longer!" 8)