Ok.....your not going to believe this.....I lost another 14 pounds for a total of................22 pounds!!!!
Another thing that the church prayed for me was to lose weight supernaturally, so, Yeah! 22 pounds!! That is really in two weeks because the first week I didn't lose at all. I know some of it is water weight but still it's weight loss, right?
I will keep you posted. I may add to this post later.
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Cool Beans!!!! God is so Good!!!!!!
Well, A LOT has happened since my last blog! I am pretty sure I have lost more weight though I do not weigh in until tomorrow. Still having a hard time eating all the food. This is the perfect for a binger, seriously. You eat all the time. I will let y'all know the results of the weigh in as soon as I get a chance. Thank you so much for hanging in there with me. The comments I have gotten on the blog via e-mail and on facebook have been so encouraging.
First I want to publicly PRAISE GOD for answering prayers yesterday during our 2:00 praise service! There have been many healings taking place at Victory Fellowship in Council Bluffs and I know that this is only the beginning! I was prayed for by many brothers and sisters in the Lord and today I am walking without a cane for most of the morning and didn't need to use my wheelchair until about 12:00. I can stand up and sit down without assistance I still have pain but Bob and I figure it has put us back to about a year ago when I could walk short distances without assistance. The Pain is probably about 50% less!! Why He didn't take it all I am not sure but knowing me there is a reason and a lesson to be learned. I am just glad for the rest. God is sssoooo Good!!!
My concern lately had been, as you know, that I would end up in a 'Skilled Nursing Facility' which was seeming more and more likely. To the point where I had been calling around and getting information and getting ready to go. It was one of the scariest things I had done. Now, I am just healed enough to know that I can STAY HOME with my family!!
Another thing that happened when I was prayed for, all of the fear, all of the anxiety left me and peace truly filled me completely! I felt like I was standing in a pool of warm water that began to move up into my legs. I felt a peace come over me like never before. Since then I have felt relaxed, calm and peaceful. I am able to think clearly, all the clatter in my brain seems quiet. Our Pastor had spoken of the power of peace with peace being our greatest weapon against our circumstances and the enemy. I think when he steals our peace he steals our faith and he steals our joy.
A couple of pretty big issues happened today really shook me, but you know what? The circumstances are there, I can't do anything about them but wait on Him to take care of the issues...Lord I will wait for you...
"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame." Isaiah 58:11
May you be blessed always,
Niecie
First I want to publicly PRAISE GOD for answering prayers yesterday during our 2:00 praise service! There have been many healings taking place at Victory Fellowship in Council Bluffs and I know that this is only the beginning! I was prayed for by many brothers and sisters in the Lord and today I am walking without a cane for most of the morning and didn't need to use my wheelchair until about 12:00. I can stand up and sit down without assistance I still have pain but Bob and I figure it has put us back to about a year ago when I could walk short distances without assistance. The Pain is probably about 50% less!! Why He didn't take it all I am not sure but knowing me there is a reason and a lesson to be learned. I am just glad for the rest. God is sssoooo Good!!!
My concern lately had been, as you know, that I would end up in a 'Skilled Nursing Facility' which was seeming more and more likely. To the point where I had been calling around and getting information and getting ready to go. It was one of the scariest things I had done. Now, I am just healed enough to know that I can STAY HOME with my family!!
Another thing that happened when I was prayed for, all of the fear, all of the anxiety left me and peace truly filled me completely! I felt like I was standing in a pool of warm water that began to move up into my legs. I felt a peace come over me like never before. Since then I have felt relaxed, calm and peaceful. I am able to think clearly, all the clatter in my brain seems quiet. Our Pastor had spoken of the power of peace with peace being our greatest weapon against our circumstances and the enemy. I think when he steals our peace he steals our faith and he steals our joy.
A couple of pretty big issues happened today really shook me, but you know what? The circumstances are there, I can't do anything about them but wait on Him to take care of the issues...Lord I will wait for you...
"The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land and will strengthen your frame." Isaiah 58:11
May you be blessed always,
Niecie
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Plan it, Eat it, Bon Appetit it! ( My New Menus Here, My New Menus Here)
First of all I have a couple of prayer request. If you would please pray for my cousin in. She has some health issues of her own as well as caring for my Aunt who is elderly. My cousin has been having a hard time holding a job due to her physical limitations. She is going to apply for disability as she feels she has tried every other way to make things work. I've been in that place and it is NOT a good place to be.
Secondly, my good friend, Marilyn lost her daughter, Michelle - 21, in a car accident 6 years ago today. Please lift the family in prayer. She has 2 sisters Amy and Elizabeth and a brother Andrew as well who miss her very much, this is a very hard time for them. Michelle was an amazing young woman and Corrin's best friend. I was lucky enough to teach her in Sunday school for a few years and am proud to have her as a part of my families life.
Thirdly, some family friends have lost a newborn baby as well so please pray for the Barrientos family too. It is very sad and very hard for them. ========================================================================
Well, finally! My new menu has come in and it is W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L! It is looking like I can eat most of the things I like. It is going to make things a lot easier for me. Looking at the list I don't see how I can even eat that much. We shall see... (the next day Wed. 3/9)...Nope, couldn't do it. Hmmm..I am sure that after I mess around with it a little bit I will be able to conger up some simple meals using everything on my menu. It seems like all I do is plan and eat, hence the title of this blog. At least I'm staying focused right? : )
This is my fourth day on the diet and I can tell there are some changes. I weighed in yesterday and as of then I had lost....dadadada....9 POUNDS!!! The swelling in my left leg already seems to be going down a lot which means the water weight is finally coming off. It seemed that no matter what I did the leg kept swelling. My right leg was doing okay...go figure. It is still not where I want it to be (gotta stop here and say too my family - no, I am not referring to the location of my leg on my body) but hopefully with consistency I can get rid of the swelling.
It has come to mind recently, and even into conversation, how we use so many excuses to explain away our behavior. We search and search for a way to justify our actions. We use science, psychology, logic, lying, covering up, whatever information that in any way supports our actions. Many seem to want to turn to genetics as an explanation. However, I can pretty much guarantee you can find as much information that will support your side of the argument as your opponent can find to support his/hers.
Someone said to me this last week that he is the way he is and that the way he was wasn't a choice and that no one would want to be this way given the choice. I had to beg to differ, we as a whole seem to wallow in selfindulgence and instant gratification, no matter what the cost. Then we walk away feeling unfulfilled. I am living a life that is very hard and painful to live in and have given into my 'desires'. It is sad and lonely to believe you have no chance of success or victory. I know, I have been there. Who would want to live this way if they had a choice? Not me, but look how miserable I have become. I have been told time and time again that I am a victim of genetics, I also have a psychological background conducive of obesity and psychological issues and at one time had fallen completely for those explanations. Now I see them as reasons for my situation but not, as one of my favorite quotes go, an excuse. On the genetic side, I may struggle a little harder, maybe a lot harder than some in weight control but that doesn't mean I can't get it done. Is it going to go against my urges and desire for food? Yep. Is it going to be a struggle? Yep. But I know I will feel better about myself in the end and be happier.
I have found too a freedom in 'confession' and recognition of my imperfections and the truth that God cherishes and loves me anyway even though I am unworthy, as are we all, He still loves me and calls me by his name...WOW! Let that sink in because it is the same for you as well. On your worst day, in your darkest hour, through the tears and through the storms He continues to love you. You are His favorite creation and He longs for you to meet with Him.
What is it that I start of talking about loosing weight and end up on a spiritual or philosophical note...hmmm...wonder if it is in the genes, LOL??
Thank you friends for your continued comments, prayers and support. Everyday I am humbled to know there are so many out there who care so much. Please give me feed back by commenting here or as most have been doing on facebook and e-mail. If you see me around do not be afraid to check up on me...I need the accountability and encouragement.
Be Blessed Always,
Denice
=======================================================================
Lord watch over my friends and keep them safe. Let us remember Lord that your will for us is so much better than ours and that you are with us even when we do not 'feel it'. In JESUS name AMEN.
Secondly, my good friend, Marilyn lost her daughter, Michelle - 21, in a car accident 6 years ago today. Please lift the family in prayer. She has 2 sisters Amy and Elizabeth and a brother Andrew as well who miss her very much, this is a very hard time for them. Michelle was an amazing young woman and Corrin's best friend. I was lucky enough to teach her in Sunday school for a few years and am proud to have her as a part of my families life.
Thirdly, some family friends have lost a newborn baby as well so please pray for the Barrientos family too. It is very sad and very hard for them. ========================================================================
Well, finally! My new menu has come in and it is W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L! It is looking like I can eat most of the things I like. It is going to make things a lot easier for me. Looking at the list I don't see how I can even eat that much. We shall see... (the next day Wed. 3/9)...Nope, couldn't do it. Hmmm..I am sure that after I mess around with it a little bit I will be able to conger up some simple meals using everything on my menu. It seems like all I do is plan and eat, hence the title of this blog. At least I'm staying focused right? : )
This is my fourth day on the diet and I can tell there are some changes. I weighed in yesterday and as of then I had lost....dadadada....9 POUNDS!!! The swelling in my left leg already seems to be going down a lot which means the water weight is finally coming off. It seemed that no matter what I did the leg kept swelling. My right leg was doing okay...go figure. It is still not where I want it to be (gotta stop here and say too my family - no, I am not referring to the location of my leg on my body) but hopefully with consistency I can get rid of the swelling.
It has come to mind recently, and even into conversation, how we use so many excuses to explain away our behavior. We search and search for a way to justify our actions. We use science, psychology, logic, lying, covering up, whatever information that in any way supports our actions. Many seem to want to turn to genetics as an explanation. However, I can pretty much guarantee you can find as much information that will support your side of the argument as your opponent can find to support his/hers.
Someone said to me this last week that he is the way he is and that the way he was wasn't a choice and that no one would want to be this way given the choice. I had to beg to differ, we as a whole seem to wallow in selfindulgence and instant gratification, no matter what the cost. Then we walk away feeling unfulfilled. I am living a life that is very hard and painful to live in and have given into my 'desires'. It is sad and lonely to believe you have no chance of success or victory. I know, I have been there. Who would want to live this way if they had a choice? Not me, but look how miserable I have become. I have been told time and time again that I am a victim of genetics, I also have a psychological background conducive of obesity and psychological issues and at one time had fallen completely for those explanations. Now I see them as reasons for my situation but not, as one of my favorite quotes go, an excuse. On the genetic side, I may struggle a little harder, maybe a lot harder than some in weight control but that doesn't mean I can't get it done. Is it going to go against my urges and desire for food? Yep. Is it going to be a struggle? Yep. But I know I will feel better about myself in the end and be happier.
I have found too a freedom in 'confession' and recognition of my imperfections and the truth that God cherishes and loves me anyway even though I am unworthy, as are we all, He still loves me and calls me by his name...WOW! Let that sink in because it is the same for you as well. On your worst day, in your darkest hour, through the tears and through the storms He continues to love you. You are His favorite creation and He longs for you to meet with Him.
What is it that I start of talking about loosing weight and end up on a spiritual or philosophical note...hmmm...wonder if it is in the genes, LOL??
Thank you friends for your continued comments, prayers and support. Everyday I am humbled to know there are so many out there who care so much. Please give me feed back by commenting here or as most have been doing on facebook and e-mail. If you see me around do not be afraid to check up on me...I need the accountability and encouragement.
Be Blessed Always,
Denice
=======================================================================
Lord watch over my friends and keep them safe. Let us remember Lord that your will for us is so much better than ours and that you are with us even when we do not 'feel it'. In JESUS name AMEN.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Dear Bloggery
"Thank you Lord for all of my family and friends! You have blessed me mightily with them. Teach me to return the same in kind and bless them. Amen!"
No menu yet! I am sure I am not the easiest person in the world, diet wise, to make a menu for that I can actually follow with all these health issues and the medicines I take. I think I am doing better on my eating. I have pretty much eliminated sugar except for a sprinkle here and there. My salt intake has decreased by about two cups a day :0).
Alright, so, yesterday we overslept and missed church. I am a little angry at myself about that because I distinctly remember turning off my alarm clock. I was awake until three due to some issues I was having with aches and pains, trying to not take any extra hydrocodone. Of course everyone I have talked to regarding the service have said it was amazing...UGH! I mean I am glad everyone there was blessed but come on God. :) Hopefully the service will be on the church website. http://www.vfministeries.com/. Ah huh, see how I worked that in there...clever huh? ;)
Today again, was not one of my better days. It was long and drawn out. I found a couple of other things that I can't do because of my left shoulder. *blog flashback* ~~~~doddle loddle do~~~~~I fell a few weeks back and messed up my knee and a bunch of other stuff. Well, I had my right arm and shoulder x-rayed at the time. Everything came back ok except for an old injury in my right shoulder which I kind of figured I had. I think I hurt it pretty bad about 6-9 months ago when I went to reach for something. Anyway, the next day everything hurt and yada, yada, yada I can hardly move my left arm. It seems to be getting worse and I really do not want to call my Dr. office again. I just get this mental picture of the nurses hearing my voice on the answering machine and scrambling in all directions away from the phone shouting "NOT IT"! I know they don't think that way but I do, they even get a little miffed, I think, when I refer to myself as 'The Problem Child'. They really are quite an amazing group of people. I do not know how the people in the medical field do it...I really don't.
Cindy (Boo), my sister and my mom, came over last night. We had a nice visit. They've been reading my blog too so we talked about that, the items we are needing to help with power chair transportation. We need one of those trailer type thingamajigs that can haul my power chair. We need one that can fold up against the car because our driveway is not long enough to keep the trailer attached. Once I can walk a little without help, I will have some relative independence. Right now I have to have someone take me everywhere. I can no longer do it by myself. I have the manual chair now which means we don't have to constantly load and un load the power chair via the ramp but the power chair, however, in many situations, is better to have so I can move about to talk to people at church and other gatherings. Mom and Boo are both pitching in on the metabolic diet stuff which I am so grateful for...I can always count on my family. My family is pretty cool. You can borrow them sometime if you would like.
I am the oldest of five, My brother Dan is next in line and has a PhD in business. He has a beautiful wife Tammy, and 3 amazing kids - all adults now. Right now he is teaching business via computer at Southern Columbia University. He also has a Masters in something having to do with environmental hazards. I'm never quite sure. We were best buds growing up and I knew he was very intelligent despite driving my car on the lake of ice when he was 15 or trying to explain the flow of electricity by hooking his friend up to the spark plug of the lawn mower. I am still laughing at that one but not so much the car thing. He is still a dork but a little more of an intellectual dork.
My sister Patty is a Human Resource Director for a local manufacturing company. She is married to a great guy. Patty is amazing! She has 2 boys in collage and a daughter (we're buds) in Jr. High. She works full time, her kids were always involved in sports track, basketball, volleyball, hockey and baseball. She is seriously involved in school parent teacher organization. She's a mad women. She's very level headed and realistic. She can make me laugh so hard.
Frank is my youngest brother, he is a divorced father of two awesome boys. He is currently dating Cheri who I like very much, she has three great kids too. Frank is a firefighter and for a couple years served as Vice President of the local firefighters union. He dropped out last year before the election so he could spend more time with his boys. He's a pretty neat guy and I kind of like him. However, he like his Dr. brother before him, is a dork. I don't think brothers ever grow out of it...They remain forever ornery and obnoxious. The only difference I can think of is they now have nieces, nephews and children of their own to torment...mostly Frank...
My baby sister is too cool. She works for a big insurance company and is a Contract Analyst. She is married to a terrific guy, Dave who is also a firefighter. She is the dedicated mom of two beautiful and hysterically funny girls. When we go camping her oldest calls me her 'camp mom' Her oldest is 10 and her youngest is 7, I think. She has been very supportive of me in this attempt to lose weight.
Thank you so much for holding me up in your prayers!
Be Blessed Always, 8: )
Niecie Dee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Father God you alone are mighty to the pulling down of the strongholds in our lives. I thank you that you have called us by your name through the blood of your son and counted us worthy to be called the sons of God. I thank you Lord that every imperfection in us becomes perfect in you and that you are quick to answer our prayers. I thank you too that your grace and mercy towards us is never ending and your love for us extravagant.
Lord lead us and guide us by your powerful yet gentle hand. Show us the direction you want us to go that we may walk in it and empower us Lord Jesus to overcome our weaknesses by handing it all over to you and stepping out of the way so that you may bring the victory, that already exists in your plan for us, into our lives. Be glorified in us oh Lord today. In Jesus name AMEN!!!"
(and thank you God for spell check).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No menu yet! I am sure I am not the easiest person in the world, diet wise, to make a menu for that I can actually follow with all these health issues and the medicines I take. I think I am doing better on my eating. I have pretty much eliminated sugar except for a sprinkle here and there. My salt intake has decreased by about two cups a day :0).
Alright, so, yesterday we overslept and missed church. I am a little angry at myself about that because I distinctly remember turning off my alarm clock. I was awake until three due to some issues I was having with aches and pains, trying to not take any extra hydrocodone. Of course everyone I have talked to regarding the service have said it was amazing...UGH! I mean I am glad everyone there was blessed but come on God. :) Hopefully the service will be on the church website. http://www.vfministeries.com/. Ah huh, see how I worked that in there...clever huh? ;)
Today again, was not one of my better days. It was long and drawn out. I found a couple of other things that I can't do because of my left shoulder. *blog flashback* ~~~~doddle loddle do~~~~~I fell a few weeks back and messed up my knee and a bunch of other stuff. Well, I had my right arm and shoulder x-rayed at the time. Everything came back ok except for an old injury in my right shoulder which I kind of figured I had. I think I hurt it pretty bad about 6-9 months ago when I went to reach for something. Anyway, the next day everything hurt and yada, yada, yada I can hardly move my left arm. It seems to be getting worse and I really do not want to call my Dr. office again. I just get this mental picture of the nurses hearing my voice on the answering machine and scrambling in all directions away from the phone shouting "NOT IT"! I know they don't think that way but I do, they even get a little miffed, I think, when I refer to myself as 'The Problem Child'. They really are quite an amazing group of people. I do not know how the people in the medical field do it...I really don't.
Cindy (Boo), my sister and my mom, came over last night. We had a nice visit. They've been reading my blog too so we talked about that, the items we are needing to help with power chair transportation. We need one of those trailer type thingamajigs that can haul my power chair. We need one that can fold up against the car because our driveway is not long enough to keep the trailer attached. Once I can walk a little without help, I will have some relative independence. Right now I have to have someone take me everywhere. I can no longer do it by myself. I have the manual chair now which means we don't have to constantly load and un load the power chair via the ramp but the power chair, however, in many situations, is better to have so I can move about to talk to people at church and other gatherings. Mom and Boo are both pitching in on the metabolic diet stuff which I am so grateful for...I can always count on my family. My family is pretty cool. You can borrow them sometime if you would like.
I am the oldest of five, My brother Dan is next in line and has a PhD in business. He has a beautiful wife Tammy, and 3 amazing kids - all adults now. Right now he is teaching business via computer at Southern Columbia University. He also has a Masters in something having to do with environmental hazards. I'm never quite sure. We were best buds growing up and I knew he was very intelligent despite driving my car on the lake of ice when he was 15 or trying to explain the flow of electricity by hooking his friend up to the spark plug of the lawn mower. I am still laughing at that one but not so much the car thing. He is still a dork but a little more of an intellectual dork.
My sister Patty is a Human Resource Director for a local manufacturing company. She is married to a great guy. Patty is amazing! She has 2 boys in collage and a daughter (we're buds) in Jr. High. She works full time, her kids were always involved in sports track, basketball, volleyball, hockey and baseball. She is seriously involved in school parent teacher organization. She's a mad women. She's very level headed and realistic. She can make me laugh so hard.
Frank is my youngest brother, he is a divorced father of two awesome boys. He is currently dating Cheri who I like very much, she has three great kids too. Frank is a firefighter and for a couple years served as Vice President of the local firefighters union. He dropped out last year before the election so he could spend more time with his boys. He's a pretty neat guy and I kind of like him. However, he like his Dr. brother before him, is a dork. I don't think brothers ever grow out of it...They remain forever ornery and obnoxious. The only difference I can think of is they now have nieces, nephews and children of their own to torment...mostly Frank...
My baby sister is too cool. She works for a big insurance company and is a Contract Analyst. She is married to a terrific guy, Dave who is also a firefighter. She is the dedicated mom of two beautiful and hysterically funny girls. When we go camping her oldest calls me her 'camp mom' Her oldest is 10 and her youngest is 7, I think. She has been very supportive of me in this attempt to lose weight.
Thank you so much for holding me up in your prayers!
Be Blessed Always, 8: )
Niecie Dee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Father God you alone are mighty to the pulling down of the strongholds in our lives. I thank you that you have called us by your name through the blood of your son and counted us worthy to be called the sons of God. I thank you Lord that every imperfection in us becomes perfect in you and that you are quick to answer our prayers. I thank you too that your grace and mercy towards us is never ending and your love for us extravagant.
Lord lead us and guide us by your powerful yet gentle hand. Show us the direction you want us to go that we may walk in it and empower us Lord Jesus to overcome our weaknesses by handing it all over to you and stepping out of the way so that you may bring the victory, that already exists in your plan for us, into our lives. Be glorified in us oh Lord today. In Jesus name AMEN!!!"
(and thank you God for spell check).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, March 5, 2011
No Menu Yet
Soooo, still no menu for me but I went to an introductory class with Evi, this time I was her support. It turned out to be a two hour class that should have been 1 hour tops. It was mostly about the product line but tonight I will be busily looking for substitutions. There are only two mandatory supplements that you have to buy from them...that's cool.
My Doctors and Nurses care. My Counslor Cheryl helped us locate a manual wheel chair for about 1/3 of the price we were looking at - and figure we would have to wait a few months for. My nephew is a personal trainer and he has offered his advice. A friend that works at No Name Nutrition has offered her help. I have a cousin who is a Physical Therapist. Many others have offered to listen, transportation, escapes, the option to go to Sri Lanka for surgery if I need it... "The board is set, the pieces are moving" Gandalf the White. I am so humbled, really, I never knew there were so many people out there wanting to help, I really am amazed. This is way cool and a little hard for me to take in. I am so thankful for the generosity, prayers and the Love of my family & friends. This is being set up for something special down the road...There is a much bigger plan here then a weight loss program. God is amazing and I give Him the Glory for it ALL. I know too that God is going to be blessing you all big time. If any of you want to talk, text or im and if I can be of any help to you, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I am here for you all too. Also, knowing that so may people are behind me keeps me lifted up and encouraged. I have made a promise to myself that I will NOT give up this time.
I am sitting here listening to some Smooth Jazz while I write this....Ahhhhhhhh *sigh*. Gotta love Andre Ward.
I was so angry today, I mean I was angry! Today was probably the most painful day I have had. All of my joints are swollen and my muscles were hurting so much even the softest touch was painful. Everything I had to do was complicated by the pain and the lack of mobility due to the swelling. Trying to straighten out my left hand was even difficult. Not looking for sympathy here but just want you to understand how nasty this all was something just burst in me. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING MISERABLE!!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MY HUSBAND AND KIDS HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ME DYING OR HAVING TO GO TO SOME KIND OF CARE FACILITY!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!! I HATE THAT I AM EXHAUSTED! Uh oh, the jazz stopped helping.
Dr. C., Evi and a few others were right. I have to hate this! I see what food is doing to me. I see how it is affecting my family and friends. The look of helplessness on their faces and even fear as they watch me get worse. Yet, they are loving me anyway...sometimes with tough love but they are loving me. They want me here for them - their kids, their weddings, their proms and their dances. I want to be there when they need me. I want to be able to walk trails when we go camping. I want to go on rides at theme parks with my kids and they want it too. I have no excuses, I have no defense and yup I did this too myself and I am the only one that can undo this for myself. I hate what I have done!!! I despise the
I want to see food as a necessary evil I don't even want to 'enjoy' it any more. I almost feel at this point that food to me is like an abusive relationship. I go to it for comfort,or whatever, and it knocks me down, bruises me, sends me to my wheelchair crying and hating myself for allowing it to treat me this way. Then returning again the next day for more of the same...Man, have I been stupid!!
With all that being said, when you pray for me, please get angry with me. This needs to STOP! I can not allow it to go on any further! Pray for my heart to remain as it is now - with the same attitude. Put on the Holy boxing gloves with me!!! Let's do this!!
I hope it didn't get too weird and I didn't freak out too much for you. :)
"Lord, thank you so much for my family! They are the most wonderful gift I have ever received.I do not know where I would be without them and just seeing their faces every day brings joy to my heart and I can not, not smile. They are wonderful!
Thank you for my friends whom you have chosen to put into my life at this time. Lord I am truly humbled by the concern, prayer and support they have given freely. I see so many ways for me to be a better friend by their example. Lord guard them and keep them strong. Bless and prosper them in body, in mind, and mostly in spirit where the true wealth lies. But Lord meet their physical needs as well. Speak to them all in dreams and visions. Draw them to you for peace, protection and strength. Show them, Jesus, who you are if they do not know already. In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
"The desire of the righteous ends only in good..." Proverbs 11:23
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie Dee
My Doctors and Nurses care. My Counslor Cheryl helped us locate a manual wheel chair for about 1/3 of the price we were looking at - and figure we would have to wait a few months for. My nephew is a personal trainer and he has offered his advice. A friend that works at No Name Nutrition has offered her help. I have a cousin who is a Physical Therapist. Many others have offered to listen, transportation, escapes, the option to go to Sri Lanka for surgery if I need it... "The board is set, the pieces are moving" Gandalf the White. I am so humbled, really, I never knew there were so many people out there wanting to help, I really am amazed. This is way cool and a little hard for me to take in. I am so thankful for the generosity, prayers and the Love of my family & friends. This is being set up for something special down the road...There is a much bigger plan here then a weight loss program. God is amazing and I give Him the Glory for it ALL. I know too that God is going to be blessing you all big time. If any of you want to talk, text or im and if I can be of any help to you, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I am here for you all too. Also, knowing that so may people are behind me keeps me lifted up and encouraged. I have made a promise to myself that I will NOT give up this time.
I am sitting here listening to some Smooth Jazz while I write this....Ahhhhhhhh *sigh*. Gotta love Andre Ward.
I was so angry today, I mean I was angry! Today was probably the most painful day I have had. All of my joints are swollen and my muscles were hurting so much even the softest touch was painful. Everything I had to do was complicated by the pain and the lack of mobility due to the swelling. Trying to straighten out my left hand was even difficult. Not looking for sympathy here but just want you to understand how nasty this all was something just burst in me. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING MISERABLE!!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MY HUSBAND AND KIDS HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT ME DYING OR HAVING TO GO TO SOME KIND OF CARE FACILITY!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!! I HATE THAT I AM EXHAUSTED! Uh oh, the jazz stopped helping.
Dr. C., Evi and a few others were right. I have to hate this! I see what food is doing to me. I see how it is affecting my family and friends. The look of helplessness on their faces and even fear as they watch me get worse. Yet, they are loving me anyway...sometimes with tough love but they are loving me. They want me here for them - their kids, their weddings, their proms and their dances. I want to be there when they need me. I want to be able to walk trails when we go camping. I want to go on rides at theme parks with my kids and they want it too. I have no excuses, I have no defense and yup I did this too myself and I am the only one that can undo this for myself. I hate what I have done!!! I despise the
I want to see food as a necessary evil I don't even want to 'enjoy' it any more. I almost feel at this point that food to me is like an abusive relationship. I go to it for comfort,or whatever, and it knocks me down, bruises me, sends me to my wheelchair crying and hating myself for allowing it to treat me this way. Then returning again the next day for more of the same...Man, have I been stupid!!
With all that being said, when you pray for me, please get angry with me. This needs to STOP! I can not allow it to go on any further! Pray for my heart to remain as it is now - with the same attitude. Put on the Holy boxing gloves with me!!! Let's do this!!
I hope it didn't get too weird and I didn't freak out too much for you. :)
"Lord, thank you so much for my family! They are the most wonderful gift I have ever received.I do not know where I would be without them and just seeing their faces every day brings joy to my heart and I can not, not smile. They are wonderful!
Thank you for my friends whom you have chosen to put into my life at this time. Lord I am truly humbled by the concern, prayer and support they have given freely. I see so many ways for me to be a better friend by their example. Lord guard them and keep them strong. Bless and prosper them in body, in mind, and mostly in spirit where the true wealth lies. But Lord meet their physical needs as well. Speak to them all in dreams and visions. Draw them to you for peace, protection and strength. Show them, Jesus, who you are if they do not know already. In Jesus mighty name, Amen.
"The desire of the righteous ends only in good..." Proverbs 11:23
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie Dee
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I'm sorry...what? No cream cheese?!?
Wow! Very Crazy days - yesterday and today! Evi and I weighed in yesterday...she did great, lost 3 pounds! Me? Not a single pound lost or gained, zero, nada. I didn't think I would lose too much since I haven't received my menu yet and am still trying to kind of figure this all out, but nothing?
Anyway, I came home feeling pretty bad and confused (not that that was too different). I really, really wanted to BINGE...but I didn't. I threw away the cream cheese I had stashed after receiving a call from Evi stating that I needed not to let the cream cheese control me but that I should control the cream cheese...she was right. She's usually right...I hate that! Love you though Evi.
I'm sorry guys...not feeling well...must go...to sleep. Fading fast...must find meds...one more... very important ..thing... before I go...matter of life and death...it's.........................................................
Anyway, I came home feeling pretty bad and confused (not that that was too different). I really, really wanted to BINGE...but I didn't. I threw away the cream cheese I had stashed after receiving a call from Evi stating that I needed not to let the cream cheese control me but that I should control the cream cheese...she was right. She's usually right...I hate that! Love you though Evi.
I'm sorry guys...not feeling well...must go...to sleep. Fading fast...must find meds...one more... very important ..thing... before I go...matter of life and death...it's.........................................................
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It's a Reason Not an Excuse
Well, Evi said I should blog and not eat anything until I finish soooooo, this may be a very short blog, :) lol. Hmmmm, where to start??? Ah, I know, I wanted to mention that with all of the people who give obese people a hard time by their ignorant and demeaning comments and actions I am just as amazed by the kindness, understanding and compassion of people who want so bad to help but have no idea how.
My primary care physician and his staff are wonderful, they work so hard to help me find answers. I never feel judged, embarrassed or demeaned. It is a safe place for me. My church is another place that people are without judgement - the atmosphere is peaceful and welcoming. There are many caring, encouraging people out there.
Okay, so here's another confession. I am currently seeing a Christian Counselor who has been very instrumental in getting me to the point of change and even wanting to change. Another person who is stepping up to get me past these hurdles and it is another safe place to be. Sometimes I don't want to leave but they frown on clients moving in. They're funny like that. :-) I can't believe I am telling you all of this! I think the main reason is that I feel more like I am typing a personal journal rather than a "news letter".
I am also very humbled by the response of so many people to this blog. It always surprises me when people other than my brothers and sisters step up to the plate for me, I'm not sure why. My Counselor, Cheryl thinks it is probably some things from my past that keep me held in the belief that I am not worthy. Hmm, okay, Cheryl is very smart about stuff like that. She always ends up being right...I hate that!
Anyway, you think I have avoided the whole diet thing a little too long? That's cause today was a lousy day! Most people in pain or discomfort rest and usually eat little or nothing. Well, guess what? Not me! I wanted everything I saw; almost like sooner or later something was going to make me feel better. Then it is aggravated by the fact that I can do hardly anything. I know, I know excuses right? No, a reason maybe, but not an excuse. Heck, I can eat when I have a stomach virus! Huh, wonder if food is addicting? Gotta say DUH to that one.
I still haven't received my menu from MRC yet but they did say it may take a while because of my physical issues and medications. I do have what they call a Pre-Conditioning Menu & Shopping list. It kind of introduces you slowly to the healthier foods. But what I do not understand is the cooking oil thing. You can have Canola or Olive Olive...but not cooked. You have to eat it raw, on salads etc. I am going with Evi tomorrow afternoon to a class she has to go to and hopefully I will get to ask more questions and let you know how this all works.
Thank you again for your comments of support on this blog, facebook and e-mail!
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie Dee
My primary care physician and his staff are wonderful, they work so hard to help me find answers. I never feel judged, embarrassed or demeaned. It is a safe place for me. My church is another place that people are without judgement - the atmosphere is peaceful and welcoming. There are many caring, encouraging people out there.
Okay, so here's another confession. I am currently seeing a Christian Counselor who has been very instrumental in getting me to the point of change and even wanting to change. Another person who is stepping up to get me past these hurdles and it is another safe place to be. Sometimes I don't want to leave but they frown on clients moving in. They're funny like that. :-) I can't believe I am telling you all of this! I think the main reason is that I feel more like I am typing a personal journal rather than a "news letter".
I am also very humbled by the response of so many people to this blog. It always surprises me when people other than my brothers and sisters step up to the plate for me, I'm not sure why. My Counselor, Cheryl thinks it is probably some things from my past that keep me held in the belief that I am not worthy. Hmm, okay, Cheryl is very smart about stuff like that. She always ends up being right...I hate that!
Anyway, you think I have avoided the whole diet thing a little too long? That's cause today was a lousy day! Most people in pain or discomfort rest and usually eat little or nothing. Well, guess what? Not me! I wanted everything I saw; almost like sooner or later something was going to make me feel better. Then it is aggravated by the fact that I can do hardly anything. I know, I know excuses right? No, a reason maybe, but not an excuse. Heck, I can eat when I have a stomach virus! Huh, wonder if food is addicting? Gotta say DUH to that one.
I still haven't received my menu from MRC yet but they did say it may take a while because of my physical issues and medications. I do have what they call a Pre-Conditioning Menu & Shopping list. It kind of introduces you slowly to the healthier foods. But what I do not understand is the cooking oil thing. You can have Canola or Olive Olive...but not cooked. You have to eat it raw, on salads etc. I am going with Evi tomorrow afternoon to a class she has to go to and hopefully I will get to ask more questions and let you know how this all works.
Thank you again for your comments of support on this blog, facebook and e-mail!
Be Blessed Always,
Niecie Dee
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